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Alexis got home early in the morning. Between her mandatory dates with Nate after practices, and her time with Nate in practices, Alexis felt exhausted, but she was certain that she was starting to convince him that whatever he thought was wrong. Her decision to sleep over at his house was one that she had made on a whim and she was certain it was the best decision she had ever made. The entire drive home, Alexis had thought about how well he had loved her. She had slept with a few guys and none of them had been as attentive to her. Alexis wanted more, and if it weren’t for the fact that she had to go home, Alexis was certain she would not have.
“Home?” Her father was in the kitchen when she got in. She had not wanted to interact with her parents after an obvious night out. The shame was already starting to wash at the afterglow from the experience. “Which boy was it?”
“Nate.” Alexis hoped her father did not hear her.
When her father popped his head out from the doorway, he looked her in the eye.
“Nate.” She said louder this time.
“Ah! Good.” He disappeared again. “I like him.” Alexis paused for a moment wanting to race up the stairs, uncertain if her father were done. “You used protection right?”
“God dad.” Alexis stormed up the stairs as he reminded her that she was too young to have a baby and that she needed to focus on her future. When Alexis shut her door, she pressed her back up against it and looked up to the ceiling. She had sensed authenticity and care in her father’s voice. There was so much love laced with fear, but also the desire not to be too strict with her. There were so many emotions and tonalities that she had never been able to distinguish before.
Jordan said that turning off magic once she started learning it was never going to happen. She would have to learn to control it and learn to manage it in a different way. It would take time, and he said it would get worse before it got better. Not that it ever got better for him, he said. None of the guys seemed to have the same issue, but Jordan was…
Alexis looked up to her bed. Why was she thinking of Jordan? She was supposed to think of Nate, and yet… His name was back in her head and…
There was a pounding on her door.
“Open. Open. It’s me.”
Alexis pulled the door open and Nia slipped in. Alexis locked the door before being dragged to her bed by Nia.
“There is nothing to spill about.” Alexis shook her head.
“Nothing to spill about?” Nia shook her head. “You liar. You never go out when its break.”
“You like him that much?” Nia took Alexis’ hands. “I knew it!”
“I do,” She admitted. “It was great.”
“I really should…” Alexis sighed, letting go of Nia. “Call Tiana.”
She thought of Tiana’s voice. Would Tiana have changed to her? If Tiana had changed would the change be scary or would it provide a deeper understanding of Tiana? Alexis could not risk losing Tiana. Anyone else in the world, she could, but not Tiana. Not her ever. There was only one person that Alexis wanted to know the world about, regardless of how others felt.
“What? But I’m here.”
“I haven’t talked to her today.”
“Please. I need to relax.’
Nią pouted but then bounced off the bed. She vowed to Alexis that as soon as Alexis was done, she was going to storm her for details. Nia left the room and a few moments later, Alexis finally called Tiana.
“Hello?” Tiana yawned, answering on the third ring.
“Sorry.” She could hear from Tiana’s breathing, that she had been asleep. Interesting, as Alexis had never heard that before.
“I slept with Nate.” It was only as she said the words that she felt a tinge of guilt in her own stomach. She’d woken Tiana just to tell her that?
For a second, Tiana’s breath hitched. Alexis swore that in it, that there was a level of jealousy and amazement interjected. Tiana whistled and laughed. “Good for you.”
The words were not comforting. They were pleased but distraught. Tiana didn’t like Nate? Or was it something else? Alexis was not sure and the phone signals were interfering with the connection. If only she could see Tiana’s eyes and then she’d know she made the right decision.
“I’m not sure I did it for the right reason.”
“What.” Tiana’s voice was immediately alert. “If he pressured you into anything…”
“No. No. Not that. I just… He said that he was worried that I liked Jordan.” And I’m worried that you don’t like him.
Tiana was silent for a minute. It was an agonizing one as Alexis swore she could sense Tiana’s emotions and then they flickered away in the wind.
“That makes sense the pretty boy bad boy has seem to have had you enraptured…” Alexis had not told Tiana about magic. She had sworn to the guys not to tell anyone who was not immediately involved. Alexis was not sure that the detail mattered much, but she did know that part of it was related. She also could tell that Tiana approved of Jordan less than of Nate. “Do you?”
“No.” Alexis wanted to believe that.
“Oh! Alexis.” Nia opened the door.
“Nia!” Alexis snapped at her sister. She held the phone close and glared at Nia who had barged in. Embarrassed as if being caught changing, Alexis wished her sister had some form of decency.
“Oh. Sorry…” Nia gasped before she shut the door again.
Alexis laid back on her bed, trying to control her emotions. Everything was a cacophony of noise. “I don’t like him.”
“But you might,” Tiana whispered.
“I hope I don’t.”
“But that’s why…” Tiana sighed. “Why do you think you might?”
Alexis had not thought she did, but after Nate had brought it up she noticed that she was watching Jordan more. She also knew that her thoughts always went back to him. She had started everything to get to know more about Jordan and his mysterious door. Now that she knew it was her magic calling her to investigate… All she could think of was the time when they were singing on the river and how great that had felt.
She thought of Jordan and Nate and Tiana, and how each one of them called her in a different way. Where Nate and Tiana filled Alexis, Jordan called her to fill the void within him. She had so many questions, so many concerns and her magic called her to help him. Was this what Nate was always afraid of? Or was it something else?
“I just feel it.” It was the only answer she had. and ultimately it was also the wrong one.
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