Love And The Days (13) That Passed
Zeydar found Evester in the control room, making voice recordings. He stood for a series of minutes as Evester spoke to the him of the future. They were songs. They were messages. They were reminders of love and hope. Zeydar wondered how many had been made, how often Evester had been working at it. If Evester understood that by making them, it would make Zeydar miss him more in those short few days each time.
“I won’t be that lonely,” Zeydar said when Evester finished another song.
Evester nearly jumped in his chair as he turned back around. There was both apprehension and surprise, bleeding across Evester’s face. Perhaps it would have been best to leave Evester to his own devices.
“I don’t like the idea of you being awake when I’m not. I don’t want you to fall in love with someone else,” Evester joked.
“Who? My reflection?” Zeydar approached. Evester yawned and turned around holding out his arms to Zeydar who approached and straddled him on the chair.
“Your father told me that you read my notes, about the air.” Zeydar moved Evester’s hair out of his face.
“More than a week ago.” Evester shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“For the same reason that you did not confront me, and I was only able to get the confidence to talk to you about it now.” Zeydar leaned his head against Evester’s forehead. “There is a chance only our ship will survive. I have to be prepared for anything.”
“Only us?” Evester asked. He said it in a way that told Zeydar that it was not a surprise, but it was the first time he had vocalized it.
“That must be why Heia has been so jumpy to talk to her parents.”
“Heia’s been jumpy?”
“She’s been acting like she can hide it, but she’s an open book. We all knew something was wrong.”
Zeydar was going to have to talk to her too. Although, he supposed, if she hadn’t talked to him about it, that meant that she had better faith that he was going to save them all, then even he had in himself.
“What is the likelihood that the air is toxic for us?” Evester asked.
What had Maverin said?
“Low, but a possibility,” Zeydar said the lie that Maverin fed him. “Going through the warp gates causes a load of problems, time wise.”
“I’m not letting you go down alone,” Evester said.
“Your father told me that too. Did you tell Heia?”
“No. I didn’t want her to panic more. Besides, if the ships are all saved, even if the air is bad, we can figure something out.”
“We can.” Zeydar kissed Evester’s nose. One day, Evester would understand and forgive him for keeping the possibility of sentience a secret. He knew that Heia would forgive him too. However, Maverin was right. They did not have the time or resources to change paths, not if Zeydar wanted to save them all. Both would disagree with going to a planet where sentience was possible. They would not be invaders. It was up to Zeydar to ensure that they were not.
“I love you,” Zeydar told him.
“I love you.” Evester kissed his hand.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.” Evester looked up and Zeydar kissed him. “I love you.” Zeydar kissed Evester’s eyes and nose and cheeks and mouth, as Evester repeated the words over and over again.
“Good. You’re mine now. No turning back.” Zeydar traced his fingers over Evester’s heart. He felt the pulse under the tips and wanted to reach it and make it his own. Would he forget the sound? What would happen then?
“You’ve been talking with my father too much.” Evester laughed. “Promise me.”
“I promise. I will listen to your recordings and refrain from becoming a narcissist, despite the fact that I am very attractive.”
“You are.” Evester smiled.
“I was able to capture your heart after all.” Zeydar ran his hands along the hem of Evester’s shirt.
“No one else is here.” Zeydar leaned in. “I have little research left to do, and I want to use my free time with you. That’s what the others are doing, reacquainting themselves with each other, at every moment they can. You were the only one who decided to make recordings.”
Evester hummed and reached around Zeydar as well.
“If you want.” Zeydar whispered to him. “We could record this too, so that I will certainly not forget you.”
“No. No. Those will be logged into the memory of the drive. No.” Evester’s flustered appearance was cute. “I’ll ensure that you’ll not forget me a different way.”
Zeydar kissed him, knowing that he would not forget Evester even in the time he was awake. It was an impossibility.