140 Days Until Miracles And the Uncertain End (part 2)
Evester leaned against the door watching Zeydar who sat in the light. He counted the seconds between each breath as the blue sky filtered through the window and the fresh air spun around them. Arms crossed, Evester matched his breathing to Zeydar, who had to know that he was there. Neither said a word as Evester stood there silently, letting the natural sounds of the world envelop them both.
“It’s going to taste bitter.” Zeydar spoke to him in a slight whisper, testing his own voice. Evester heard a tentative worry within it that had not been there before, however it disappeared as Zeydar kept speaking. “I never realized that before. But the air inside the CloudCities doesn’t… isn’t right.”
“It’s not.” Evester understood. He’d felt the same when he’d left the Tower. The air in the Towers, in the CloudCities, almost seemed manufactured. The air in the UnderCities was dirt and dust filled but more natural compared to the sterilized air of the CloudCities. Evester didn’t want to go back, not after being here for so long. The crisp, chilled air, wrapped itself around them both.
Zeydaar turned back to him, his hair moving slightly in the breeze from the window that was open despite how cold it was. “Were you tasked with having to find me?” He almost seemed irritated at the idea of it being a task.
“And how do you feel?” Evester had not been tasked to find Zeydar. He’d been asked to get Zeydar, but there was no task to it. He had happily obliged. He had wanted a moment alone with Zeydar, that they had never gotten. However, he did not know how to approach Zeydar, not now.
Zeydar’s eyes narrowed, leaning against the window still, glancing back and breathing in deeply. “Like I could keel over ay any moment. I’m tired. Hungry. Annoyed. And I just want to sleep. Everything is too bright, voices are too loud, but…” His gaze returned back to Evester with a slight smile on his lips despite the distress in his eyes. “But I have to exist in this state. Need to.”
Evester approached him, reaching out to touch Zeydar.
“Don’t.” Zeydar held up his hand to stop Evester from getting too close.
“What?” Evester asked stepping just close enough that he was out of Zeydar’s reach but there all the same, within his space. The two starred at each other for a long moment. The silence enveloped them again, filling the room with tens of words that neither were speaking into existence.
“Say anything.” Zeydar stood up causing his shadow to cascade over Evester. All at once the two were closer than they had been moments before. Their breaths, were in sync almost as if their heart beats were as well. Evester wondered if Zeydar had the recording of his heart beat, since he hadn’t heard anything from Rayda about it. It was one of the many things he wanted to talk about, but not the most pressing one.
“Like?” Evester heard the suggestion in his own voice, taken back by the ferocity that was there. Was he that desperate? Did he want Zeydar that badly?
“Something.” Zeydar stepped towards him. One more step and they’d be close enough that there would be no suggestion, only action. Zeydar’s voice was low in warning. “That would be considered a flirtation.”
“Ah? You want me to back off?” Evester took the last step forward, reaching down to grab Zeydar’s hand. They starred into each other’s eyes. Evester was almost certain that Zeydar wanted him as much as Evester wanted Zeydar.
“I’m not sure what I want.” Zeydar answered in a soft voice, taking his free hand to peel Evester off of him. “What was Dreams. What was not. What I need and what I don’t.” This. This was what neither wanted to say. Yet, Zeydar was saying it because it was necessary.
“Oddly mature of you.” Evester backed off, knowing that in that moment he should back off. He didn’t want to hear more of it. He didn’t want to have his heart broken just yet. Heart broken? When had his heart fallen?
All before Evester could think about his own realization, Zeydar went on. “Phil and Rayda told me I needed to.”
Fury erased all other thoughts in Evester’s mind.
Zeydar was pushing away because of the others? Evester knew that the Dreams had made him different, and Evester wanted to know the Zeydar without Sweet Dreams, however if the others were ruining his chances of that… He closed the distance once more, knowing that in some way it would hurt him more but he wanted to check, wanted to try.
“And?” Evester grabbed Zeydar’s collar, seeing how Zeydar did not pull back. “I will kiss you.”
“And if it is nothing like what either of us expect?” Zeydar was hesitant about it as well. Just like Evester, was he worried about breaking whatever fragile connection they had established?
“That’s for fantasies.” Evester leaned closer. Zeydar placed his hand over Evester’s mouth before Evester could kiss him. Blinking largely, Evester looked to Zeydar.
“I need to figure out myself.” Zeydar told him, as their eyes were focused on each other. A memory struck Evester: pounding lights, music and a song he didn’t remember the lyrics to. There was the feint sound of cheers. The taste of Dreams on his lips and the first time he’d ever seen Zeydar’s eyes. TThis was why he had remembered Zeydar’s eyes.
“I remember.” He remembered the first time they had met in detail now. How had he been such a jerk. “Was I the reason…”
“Its because of you that I know what they were using on me.” Zeydar backed up, reflecting a sense of loss that they both had to know that they had.
“Why?” Zeydar asked. “Because of you, I am here.”
“And when you figure yourself out?”
“And you figure yourself out. Then. Only then, we can talk.” And then Zeydar walked past him, as he had when they were younger leaving Evester stunned.