217 Days Until Chains And the Uncertain End
Zeydar ran his fingers across the pages of the new texts allotted to him, as he sat in his room digesting them and thinking about his own powers. These were the records of him, written by Tyler, when Zeydar had been a child. These records depicted his powers, his words, his experiences as told from a third person perspective. Tyler clearly loved him and was not afraid, but the analysis provided by later Stars, who saw Tyler’s reports, were filled with fear.
Communication with magic. Touching on all aspects of magic. No specialty. Able to use magic without a Staff. Able to use magic far before being formally trained to. Speaking as he could feel magic everywhere and no one seemed to listen to it correctly. Playing with it as if were alive and not a tool.
Tyler called it a blessing. The others called it a dangerous anomaly. In some ways, seeing that Tyler remained biased despite his unfiltered and ruthless reports, made Zeydar feel closer to his father. Father… he’d never called Tyler his father, never been allowed to. Yet, here in these papers, it was clear that Tyler thought of Zeydar as a son. Touching the words seemed to pull him closer to the father who was all too far from him now.
Anomaly. It was the word associated with him along with: terminate. He had never been terminated however, instead controlled by a drug that was developed for him. The ways in which Sweet Dreams affected him were written on the paper in detail that Zeydar had never fully noticed for himself. The words filed Zeydar with fury, for he wanted to be off the drugs. Only the anger was replaced by nihilistic acceptance. After all, what they said was true. He was a terror. He was an anomaly. He did need to be controlled.
They had seen what had happened to Arcadia.
Part of Zeydar believed, fully and completely, that he was to be the cause for the Valaria collapse, not that he knew why. He would ever willingly subject himself to detoxing. It meant that someone else could possibly force him into it. In that case, the numbers and explanations would makes sense. The details were the same as with Arcadia. However, there was a part that didn’t make sense.
The Project had never predicted Arcadia. Arcadia had been him, and its destruction had not been predicted. Yet the project predicted the destruction of Valaria in such a similar manner? The only reasonable answer was that someone was trying to destroy Valaria and its conditions just so happened to correlate to his own destroying of Arcadia.
There were many reasons why someone would want to destroy Valaria. The most important was for political purposes. However, which Circles would want that? X’s would never want to destroy their home, especially after what had happened in Arcadia. That meant… the Stars? Zeydar’s blood ran cold. The Superiors had made other Superiors and Stars disappear in the wreckage of falling Towers. Had those been destroyed by Aralax and natural disasters or had that been the Superiors too? The Superiors were planning their own escape with the space program the Project had started.
If he were right…
“Zeydar?” May’s voice came from the door as she opened it. “You weren’t answering. Are you okay?”
Zeydar refused to look at her, in fear that she would understand. She was a Military Mage. She reported to the Superiors and even if he were one now, he was still an outsider. He was still to be terminated if he proved to be an issue. He was still…
They wouldn’t use him. Not after what happened in Arcadia. Or had Arcadia even been his fault? What if he had only expedited something that they had initially planned, and when he was kidnapped the plan was halted? What if…
“Zeydar?” May asked again.
“I’m okay.” He smiled up at her. “I’m just a bit emotional reading Tylers…” He faked a sob hiding his own emotions in a veil of sorrow. He needed to see, to test his theory. If there was magic spread throughout the Tower ready to be used to destroy the Tower… If he hadn’t been the sole reason of destruction for Arcadia…
But what if he had been the cause and he was wrong? What then? Why give himself hope that for a slight second he hadn’t been the full reason for it all? There were still survivors from other collapses, Circles and Stars. Arcadia had only been him. But what if the magic had saved him? What if he had saved himself? What if he had created a situation in his mind to rationalize coincidences that seemed to be lining up?
What if he tried to detox out of his own free will and was the reason for the destruction? Just like he always had been.
“You look very stressed. Should I get—“
“Tea.” He cut her off. “Get tea for me. I’m fine. It’s just the notes.”
He needed to focus on controlling the connection to the Superiors. If he could do that, then he would be able to figure out anything else on his own. Nothing else mattered in the what ifs and he needed to drown this vivacity in dull waves of nostalgia. That would save them all.